Tag Archives: discipline

Writing

Winning at Writing

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I’ve heard it said that a key factor in writing essays (and probably blog posts) is that you want to answer a question. Sometimes it’s the question the audience is asking, the search query that leads the reader to your work. Sometimes it’s a question or answer interesting enough that the reader says, “I didn’t realize I wanted to know this…  but you’ve hooked me.”

It’s also often said that you should know – and write for – your intended audience. Picture the person who comes to your site. What brought them to this post? What need do they have which you might meet? What will hold their attention?

Today, I’m struggling to follow that advice. My question is simple to ask, but difficult to answer, and entirely personal, so it may not be useful to most. My audience isn’t the hapless reader who found their way to this dreary corner of the Internet, either. Rather, the intended audience is me.

The question: Why am I not writing?

By that I mean, why am I not regularly putting in effort on the books I claim I want to write, the stories I’ve promised myself and others that I will publish? Why am I not cranking out the words that pile up into paragraphs that construct chapters that build books?

It’s not because I don’t care about writing, is it? I like writing. I like finding the “just right” word for what I mean, even if it’s often a struggle. I love it when I come up with a clever turn of phrase, even if it’s less frequent than I’d like. I care about the characters inhabiting my head, and I know the way their stories are meant to turn out, more or less, if I can ever download all my thoughts and dangling plot threads onto the blank screen.

The easy answer is I’m lazy.

I might play video games instead. In a video game, you’ve got a story handed to you – possibly even well-written – plus the power to interact with the world, and sometimes to even chart the course of events that save or destroy that world. You’ve got mechanics designed to flash and chirp when you hit milestones. You unlock new powers and abilities, or watch the progress of your experience bar as you conquer your foes and complete your tasks. All the reward centers of the brain are duped into feeling much the same as when you accomplish things in real life, but without that frustrating “work” part that comes with any goal that truly matters.

The easy answer isn’t often the true or full answer, though, is it?

Why am I lazy about writing? I can be disciplined in other areas; I can see the benefits of making lasting change and force myself to do it. Why not writing? Why not a sentence a day, little by little, “bird by bird” as Anne Lamott famously suggests? Small steps add up to big results eventually. Am I too lazy to write a sentence?

Clearly not. I’ve written a bunch of them here.

So why are the sentences about my characters and settings so much harder to put down on paper than my self-pity about struggling to write? Am I just trading one form of procrastination for another? “Oh, I know, I’ll WRITE about writing, and thus, kind of satisfy the goal.”

That’s probably more of what’s behind this than I want to admit. Thankfully, I’ll never post this.

Procrastination is usually birthed from fear or boredom, or so I’ve heard. What am I bored by? Is it that I’ve kind of already told myself the story by outlining the major plot points and character arcs, so it feels like there’s nothing new to discover? Is it that the only thing remaining is the hard work of fleshing out those outline points, and that’s not exciting?

Maybe.

No, it’s fear. At least, it’s fear more than boredom. Fear that there’s no point. Fear that what I’ll write isn’t worth the effort, because I already fear that what I’ve written isn’t up to par. Fear that there are too many flaws or holes in the plot I’ve laid down in my self-published stuff – so many that it’s going to take a ton of work to fix that before I can really move on to the next thing.

Fear that what I’m writing isn’t relatable, or that it’s so banal that it’s got nothing to say. I’m talking “The sky is blue and life is hard sometimes” level of obvious truth… if embedding some kind of truth or moral is even part of the consideration.

No one’s asking for a sermon, and if they were, I’d find them a much better preacher.

Fear that the plot “twists” are more like gentle curves. Fear that the characters are more cardboard than care-worthy. Fear that the vision in my head is far removed from the end result – one of the most basic fears of every creative. “I thought I could make it turn out better than it did.”

Fear that I already know all the answers to those fears, and that none of them are sufficient to kick me into motion.

“Well, you’ll get better by doing it.” Yes, I know, thank you.
“You only improve by putting in reps. One word after the next until it’s done.” Exactly. Simple yet profound.
“Whose standard are you holding yourself up to? You just have to do YOUR best.” That’s a relief.
“You have to love the process, because that’s where the growth happens.” Of course.
“You have to focus entirely on what you can control, which is writing the best you can.” Indeed. I agree completely. That’s the way forward.

And yet, once again, I tune out the whispers of my imaginary tenants — those whose voices were once a vivid clamor, those whose exploits were once the movies playing out in my mind whenever I closed my eyes.

If I asked them, I wonder if they would understand, or feel betrayed. Would they sigh knowingly with me and commiserate, or fold their arms across their chests and glare at me from across the dark room I’ve locked them in? One or two would get in my face about it — not surprisingly, I have no doubt which ones.

But I’m non-confrontational to a fault, even if the person I need to confront is myself.

Maybe especially then.

So I don’t ask them. And I usually don’t ask me either. It’s easier that way.

Maybe that’s the answer to the original question – the path of least resistance. The voices in my head can’t move a muscle, push a pen, or lift a finger to a keyboard… so I “win” by default. If you can call it winning.

Tomorrow there’s a Writer’s Hour at a library on one of the nearby bases. I plan to go. I’m excited about there being some kind of writer’s group, especially one I don’t have to lead or organize. I’m happy to pop in and smile at everyone, laugh with everyone, listen to the stories and the struggles, nod my head with the sage advice and whatever anyone’s willing to share because “I know how THAT feels…”

I know a bunch of us will probably have similar voices locked away inside, waiting for their turn to come to life on paper or a screen. I know I’m not alone in feeling the way I do.

I wonder if it will help. Maybe my characters wonder too. Then again, I doubt they’d read this. They probably already know the answer to the one question they’d ask.

General

A Clip of Journals

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I got something special in the mail today. 

For six years, I’ve used the Bullet Journal system, and for over four of that, Scribbles That Matter has been my go-to for great paper (thick with no ghosting!), high quality, and vibrant color.

In late December, I watched one of Ryder Carroll’s livestreams about the system he designed. His intent was that users could “track the past, organize the present, and plan for the future” while regaining some control and focus for how they spend those precious resources: time and energy.

During the stream, I realized I’ve completely missed the reflection piece of BuJo… which essentially turned my notebook into a glorified day planner full of unfocused daily notes and repeated thoughts.

Reflection is the part of the process which helps you look back at what was working well, or what wasn’t. It’s how you more clearly identify what you want more of moving forward, and what you need to cut down on or eliminate.

Without that effort, I was left with day after day of notes on all the tasks I did or left unfinished, lots of cool or frustrating moments that happened, details of good and bad results, and just page after page of evidence of the passage of time.

No thrust, no vector.

Just lists of events, unevaluated, un-interrogated, unconsidered, recorded but forgotten.

You can’t learn lessons without taking time to absorb them. I vowed to learn from this lesson, and to start learning from the many others readily available.

But that would cost something. Reflection and deeper journaling will take up space on the pages. Doing BuJo better would mean burning through notebooks faster… but would also mean refocused vision, renewed purpose, and greater intention in my day-to-day.

Well worth the trade-off.

Prior to watching Ryder’s stream, I thought, “I’ve gone through this notebook in less than a year. Maybe I am using up space too fast.”

Then I heard Ryder talk about how he goes through one each quarter, and laughed. My pace is glacial compared to that.

I started my new journal on 7 Jan, with a stack of seven finished journals on my shelf.

Plus I received a nice Happy Holidays gift from my company (The Intellekt Group, LLC), and realized they could be funding my Bullet Journal ritual for the next year or more.

I’m not sure about the Mustard color, but I have faith it’ll grow on me.

The stack of STMs arrived today, adding to the pile, waiting for whatever the future holds. Maybe it’s a clip of bullet journals now.

If you’ve got a system for journaling or reflection, I’d love to hear about it! Maybe it’s something I could use in my own habit. Let me know in a comment what you do to track your past, organize your present, and plan your future.

Poetry, Writing

Forty-Two

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Happy birthday to me! (Belated, of course… everyone knows how proactive I am about posting in a timely manner here.)

I wrote a bit of poetry in my fake-NF style of rhythmic verse, contemplating the significance of yet another solar orbit in the books.

Forty Two, that’s what’s new,

another birthday to-do

Another year goin’ through the same old-same old, it’s true

That the life that I’ve been livin’ isn’t different or new

And the difference that I’m wishin’ for seems farther from view

 

Forty years in the desert and I’m still wandering

Like the disobedient children and I’m still wondering

If the gods that I have fashioned out of gold and the bling

Are any better than the One whose voice I hear thundering

Telling me bout everything that I’m unwilling to see

Telling me to drop the thing that is burdening me

All the weight and all the pressure when I can’t even breathe

‘Cause I’m hoarding all my treasure in this life that I lead

Making everything I do about the comfort I seek

Using everyone around me for whatever I need

So the focus of my life is centered all about me

Maybe that’s the reason why it’s so dissatisfying

Because it’s not what I’m about at least in words that I speak

And the conflict ‘tween my words and actions makes me feel weak

‘Cause I know that I’m not reachin’ for the top of the peak

Man, I’m lucky if I take a step toward somethin’ unique

 

Nah, I’m carried with the flow along the path that is wide

And no matter how I try to reach the other side

It still feels like I’m strugglin’ to keep it alive

When I’m slippin’ on my sin and then I’m starting to slide

Askin’ why I’m givin’ in and why I haven’t tried

To restrain myself and focus more with all of my might

And to lay ahold of all the goals I dream when I write

All the things I say I want to do that’s passin’ me by

And another year around the sun, man, time really flies

And the list of what I haven’t done keeps growin’ in size

 

So I write another poem full of verses and lies

How this time I gotta change and finally realize

All the effort it’ll take to take ahold of the prize

Sure, I’m gonna make a difference, now it’s time to arise

And to run with some endurance while I’m fixin’ my eyes

On the Author and the Finisher of what I describe

As the source of all the strength in me that keeps me alive

But if faith ain’t got some works then it’ll never survive

And by definition work is hard so I gotta strive

To stop shirkin’ every burden, leaving efforts deprived

Of the power and the diligence that they need to thrive

 

So I write all of this down in hopes that maybe I’ll see

That the only one to blame is who I don’t want to be

And I’m starin’ in the mirror and he’s lookin’ at me

Sayin’ “Hey, let’s make a bet, tell me if you agree

That you’re not quite ready yet to make the changes you need

So don’t waste my time with stuff that you don’t even believe

Don’t act like you’ve got what it takes to take down me

Let’s just put a pin in this ‘til you turn forty three.”

Writing

Year Review

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For the last three years, I have tracked my writing using a daily word count log. I find this helps me be honest with myself about what I am doing–or more likely not doing–to achieve the goals I so often claim concerning books and blogs.

2018’s average daily word count was 796. I aim for 1K a day but recognize I may not always make that. Right or wrong (not that anyone can really say), I’m not as disappointed about it as I would have been a couple years ago.

At the start of the year, I thought I might hit Fantasy Book 2 hard and get that near completion. I got several chapters in but found myself slogging through, unmotivated and lacking a clear vision. Even the outlined parts that I know or think are right for the book feel less than thrilling… so I have to go back to the outlining board for that one.

I tried completing 2017’s National Novel Writing Month project, a prequel of sorts starring one of my favorite characters from the fantasy series. I finished a few more scenes but mostly left that unattended, awaiting future revision.

I put forth a few short stories or flash fiction pieces, and some poetry, so I don’t feel like all was lost… but I neglected this blog and major projects for far too long.

Some of my procrastination might be blamed on Dungeons & Dragons. For the better part of the year, I was running a game every other week, trying to craft some interesting story arcs or surprise moments for the friends and family sitting around the table rolling dice. I think I managed to pull off more exciting sessions than train wrecks, so I am proud of that. However, the creative effort involved both satisfies the urge to write and drains me of energy to pour into more writing.

I walked into NaNoWriMo 2018 knowing that I wouldn’t succeed at hitting 50K. I don’t want to keep using retirement from the military and moving our family home as an excuse, but it’s a simple fact that more important things demanded my attention than the blank screen of a manuscript-in-progress.

The few scenes I added to my “someday I’m really going to write this character” gambler prophet were well received by the local writing group, so that gives me hope. It also leaves me wondering if I should work on that while the desire is stirred in me, instead of trying to sort out the “more important” Fantasy Book 2 and all the other parts down the road.

In any event, I am definitely starting to feel the relaxation and liberty of civilian life, and I am looking forward to ways to put my scenic location and extra free time to use in the endeavor of writing.

I’ll continue aiming for 1K minimum each day (I’m already behind!), but I won’t have nearly the same number of reasonable explanations at the end of 2019 if I don’t meet that goal.

Have you set writing goals for this year? I’d love to hear what you have planned. Let me know in a comment so I can cheer you on.

Poetry

Human Con Diction

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They say to channel your anger, don’t keep it inside,

just like a plane in the hangar, when it’s meant to fly,

but I think there’s a danger, I might be that guy

who acts all nice to the stranger and makes the ones I love cry

But hey I’ll deal with it later, apologize,

‘cuz that makes it all better, so I rationalize

My temperament is unstable, my excuses are lies,

my lack of discipline fatal, so opportunity dies

My hopes and dreams are pre-natal,

and they end up aborted;

my discernment and wisdom is vision distorted,

I can’t afford to reward it,

my sins and tormentors lord it

over issues unsorted,

all my pain transported

in the feelings I’ve hoarded

in these phrases I’ve worded

to call out all the failings

with hostility nailing

all the ill in me trailing

through the wake of debris

of my life that I’m trying not to see

never looking back

that works out well for me

never have regrets, I can’t tell—

are they just buried?

I don’t know what’s wrong with me

Who or what am I supposed to be?

Where’s the results that I wanna see, can’t achieve

Unless I change and gain maturity, it’s hurting me,

Here I am still struggling

It’s the same old stuff I’m fighting with

past 40, still a kid how I live

the attention I should give leaking out like water through a sieve

feeling drained because of this, how it is

purposefully purposeless,

watch it slip, like a dress,

I can’t cover all my mess

all the flaws I should address,

All the junk I should correct,

All the stuff inside collects

Until it’s piled high I guess, I confess,

It’s easier to focus less

Try to medicate the stress and not regress

But then I fail again, can’t get any rest

No reprieve, no relief from no good me,

I’m becoming my worst enemy,

I can see that who I am on the daily

Can easily defeat the man I say I wanna be

taking it on the chin from within,

it’s my own weakness that does me in

selfishness and lack of discipline

I let the bad wolf win and take him in

Pour a bowl full of kibbles out for him

For a bit, just to get me through today

While the good wolf starves and wastes away

Like a stray, like prey, he’s kept at bay

By the way that I stay inside and play

To escape all the things that call my name

All the needs and the deeds that I proclaim

Are my hopes and my dreams that I’ll one day claim

But my efforts and actions remain the same

Like the game is about the fear and doubt

And they’re winning every inning, every round, every bout,

Grinning as I’m sinning and they’re pinning me – I’m knocked out

Rocked back, blocked out, cock my fist and try to shout

but I’m not fighting back,

Once again, I’m way off track,

Like a rope with too much slack,

Slouching like a sack of burdens on my back

That’s the luggage that I pack,

Learning that I have a knack for leaning on the thing I lack

Writing

1K a Day Achievement Unlocked

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Quality writing doesn’t happen by magic or mere desire. Improving any discipline takes a large quantity of effort…

For me, this meant 1,000 words a day. Here’s how I got there:

In 2016, out of curiosity and as a bit of personal challenge, I counted the words I wrote all year-long. “You can’t manage what you don’t measure,” the motivational gurus say. I thought I’d see where I was at before trying to improve. I built a spreadsheet tracker on my iPad and watched the numbers build up over the course of the year. I surpassed 215K, or about 600 words per day on average.

In 2017, I decided I would set a particular goal–something that pushed me past what I had done the year before, but something I could actually manage.

I belonged to a group on Facebook where writers commit to writing 500 words a day, and I’ve seen several sites or groups set their quota around that number. ( 4thewords – a writing game website where I do a lot of my drafts, sets 444 as the daily goal). Jeff Goins is a writer who has built a platform out of encouraging others to write their own 500 words a day. I figured I’d take that and double it because I’m so hardcore! (kidding!)

I declared my goal: 1000 words a day on average. I knew there would be days where I didn’t write a single word, so I added that caveat at the end.

I built a new spreadsheet for 2017 and adjusted the formulas to fit each week and month. I had also started using a Bullet Journal recently, and got sucked into the Pinterest-perfect trackers and spreads I saw online. I decided to make a daily pixelated word count page in my journal, with colors representing how much I did or didn’t write.

Far too much brown in the mix.

Over the course of 2017, I adjusted my expectations here and there… some months had far too many 0 entries or brown squares on my tracker, and I started thinking, “Maybe I’ll hit 300K total… maybe I’ll hit 250K… maybe I can just do better than last year.”

November is National Novel Writing Month, where participants try to write a novel of 50,000 words or more between November 1st and 30th. I knew I would score some significant word count during that month, but it wouldn’t be enough.

Four months out from the new year, I realized that if I wrote at NaNoWriMo pace for the rest of the year (50,000 words in a month), I could meet my goal. That realization was followed by several days of less than 1000 words.

NaNo actually produced some great results for me, coupled with a family journaling project, so I cranked out over 80,000 words in that single month. December slowed down a bit, but I still managed to do more than 1K a day average, and on the 31st, I crossed my finish line with a year-long total of 365,468 words.

Now I’m not claiming those words are quality, but I firmly believe that the key to producing some quality is a quantity of effort. The work creates opportunities for quality to bloom.

It’s like saying “I will spend quality time with my kids.” That doesn’t happen by saying, “Okay bud, we got 10 minutes of real quality time. Go.” It happens by spending frequent time together, which makes room for those few, magical moments to blossom into memories that last.

It’s the same with writing, or so I tell myself. With that in mind, I saw Jeff Goins post about starting the year off with a 500-a-day challenge. Since his influence sparked my original goal, I’ll try his method and commit to writing 500 words every day for at least all of January. They may not all be great words, but that’s not the point.

Happy new year to all of you following or glancing at this in your Facebook / WordPress feed. I hope your 2017 was filled with accomplishments and your 2018 looks promising. What goals are you setting for this year?

General

A Year of Bullet Journal: Lessons Learned

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“This one notebook will make you delete all your productivity apps,” the clickbait headline promised. It came from a writers’ group, so it couldn’t be all bad…

So began my Bullet Journal experience about a year ago.

Side jaunt: What is a Bullet Journal?

A Bullet Journal is a paper brain that never forgets, so that your real one doesn’t have to juggle so many reminders, priorities, and worries. When followed, Ryder Carroll’s system is quick, easy, and efficient at what it’s designed to do: track what you’ve accomplished, record what goes on throughout the day, and assist future planning.

Today’s notes, events, tasks, and questions are recorded as they happen. At the end of the day, unfinished business is evaluated based on “Is this worth my time in the future?” If so, it gets migrated to the next day or scheduled for a later date. Notes about upcoming events feed into the monthly calendar, which also feeds back into the new day to assist with planning one’s schedule and efforts. Notes taken today can also be added to pages set aside for certain projects or areas of responsibility–a page dedicated to writing, perhaps, or to a list of references and rules for a program at the office. The brief few minutes of planning in the morning and reflection in the evening are crucial to making the system work as designed, but other than that, there’s no significant commitment.

As originally designed, it’s minimalist. However, it’s also individualized and customizable. The Bullet Journal website has links to a variety of blogs and videos with advanced options people can incorporate. Some are elaborate and artistic, others are crisp and functional, but all are optional.

Don’t be fooled by Pinterest-perfect pages and Instagram-worthy layouts. No one needs 50 water-based Stabilo pens and mild-liners, nor is a degree in art required. You don’t have to buy a special notebook from a German company or the Bullet Journal site store in order to make the best use of the system… though I do like the dot-grid pages.

Over the course of the year, I went from artistic to… we’ll say “thrifty with my time.”

Pros: The basic system works great at what it’s designed to do.

  • I tracked a bunch of tasks, events, and projects throughout the year–professional work, personal stuff, and random things.
  • I had a personalized schedule that covered my days, month, and year–and it wasn’t tethered to my phone or wi-fi access (I work in a facility where I can’t have those things on hand).
  • I expressed my creative side while keeping the system fast and effective.
  • I can review everything I invested my time in over the last year.
  • More importantly, notes of fond moments and special experiences with my wife and kids bring those memories back.
  • Tracking efforts, habits, and tasks revealed several times when parts of my life went off-course.
  • I invested positive energy into my journal, which fueled me later when I needed it.

Cons: Anything I tried beyond the basics fell apart over time through neglect.

  • For the first half of 2017, I used a bunch of artsy spreads and habit trackers I’d seen online. That turned into more work than it was worth for me.
  • Looking back, I find several pages half-filled with material on particular projects or areas of interest. I didn’t go back to those and put them to use like I thought I would.
  • I had a great many lofty ideas which never came to fruition. “I’m going to read all these books… I’m going to write these other books… I’m going to document my daily word count… I’m going to fill up this list with songs recorded and posted on my Facebook page…”
  • If I wasn’t working at the office, it was easy to ignore the Bullet Journal. My holiday weekends are often blank gaps in my daily entries.

As you might guess from the above lists, the pros far outweigh the cons. In fact, part of the benefit of a journal or tracker system like this is seeing where efforts go half-finished or forgotten, and deciding if those efforts are worth continued investment. I could argue that some of my cons are the system showing me exactly what it’s supposed to about my actual commitments and priorities.

All told, my Bullet Journal experience has been positive. It’s a beneficial tool I will continue using for years to come.

Want information on how to set one up or adapt the system to your needs? Give yourself a Christmas present of better organization and time management. Start here.

Writing

The Good Suspects

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I talked about good being the enemy of the goal in this post. Sometimes we’ve got more tasks than time–more portions than space on the plate.

I picture all these competing interests and demands like a police line-up, and I’m behind the one-way mirror trying to figure out who to blame when I fail to achieve a particular goal.

This isn’t just the cover picture of my old site. It’s a jumble of all those competing interests clamoring for my attention. No wonder my life is a shambles!

I’ve finished two novels, and brought two other manuscripts to the ~75% mark. One got put on hold due to close associations with the classified nature of my military job. The other is a collaboration with a friend in the States and is awaiting some of his hacks on the first draft (plus it still needs the ending). I have another five fantasy novels and two fantasy-westerns loosely outlined, along with seeds of two more modern day dramas… plus a possible light-hearted fantasy project brewing as a break from “serious” books. I want to get those done. I committed to digging in and cranking out words.

That’s when my anti-social life blossomed into a dozen opportunities and conflicting interests.

I took some time for personal reflection to think about my current host of demands. Here’s the wall of “good” formed up like a defensive line to stop my forward advance toward completing my novels:

A guest saw my Dungeons & Dragons books and asked, “You play D&D?” I haven’t played in years… but it’s an itch in the back of my mind. “My friend and I were looking for someone to run a group…”

That expanded into two groups. Then I heard about a potential opportunity for a recurring “learn D&D” tabletop gaming session at the Base Library. My inner nerd wants me to think of all the ways tabletop RPGs encourage social interaction, math skills, group problem-solving, while fostering creativity and relieving stress. Why wouldn’t I jump at that prospect?

The local writers group is about to be sponsored by the Base Library, leading to increased advertisements and marketing. That may mean an influx of writers (one can only hope). But that means that the three or four of us regulars will want to step up our game to ensure we’re providing a welcoming and worthwhile investment of time. This means critiques or feedbacks as well as preparing topics or activities for meetings. The writer in me jumps up and down at the possibilities.

I got to do my first book signing a week ago, which was a surreal experience. We didn’t sell a ton of books (I fear Chicken Soup for the Soul has lost a lot of its original popularity), but I still got to meet some people and shake some hands. On top of that, all the books at the Exchange have one of my bookmarks, pointing people to my site.

I also got word that another Chicken Soup submission is in the running for an upcoming book. So I’m excited to think that I’m garnering some professional recognition for all this effort toward writing.

On that front, NaNoWriMo is coming up – and I want to win again this year. I also serve as the Municipal Liaison for the event, which means organizing and facilitating events for all of Okinawa. That’s a commitment, for sure—one I love and won’t give up.

As a NaNo ML, I got randomly selected to help mentor a five part Creative Writing NaNo Prep course from Wesleyan University on Coursera. It’s an incredible opportunity to not only learn new tools and practice my craft but to provide encouragement to others on the same journey. I’m honored and ecstatic to be a part of it, so I want to give it my best.

But I have a PT test coming up and fitness is always a concern for me. As a military member I have to adhere to standards, and I’m one of those people where if I’m not giving it my constant attention, I slip back into bad habits and a bulging waistline. I’ve got a month and a half before my next test, so I have to be on top of this priority if I want to keep my job.

My faith is a big part of who I am and how my family approaches the obstacles and trials of life. We don’t want to toss all that aside in the jumble of events and obligations, so we’ve been talking with some friends about a Bible study… which sounds awesome. Informal get-togethers for fellowship, praise, and study are one of my favorite spiritual activities. Like a fitness routine, a regular spiritual discipline keeps me focused on what I claim is important to me, while keeping me grounded in what I consider good moral and ethical values. So I don’t want to ignore that.

I had the privilege of filling in on the piano at the Base Chapel for six weeks while one of the musicians was in the States. I love playing music for worship services; it’s something I can say without arrogance that I do quite well. Still, that means a commitment to rehearsals and practice when I don’t know the songs the leader has selected. That’s more time and effort pulled in yet another really good direction.

The other day, I got a text from the guy I assisted asking if I want to play with the service on the regular. That’ll free up the usual pianist to employ some of his other manifold talents, like playing the saxophone. It would be amazing to hear some good sax riffs in the middle of the music; there’s such a rich sound when we can incorporate more than the standard keys / electric guitar / bass. I want to play, of course I do. But that’s another long-term commitment.

My musical skill got me an offer to play for social hour at the upcoming Air Force Ball. I can literally sit an hour at the piano playing nice chit-chat music with my eyes closed, so I thought “sure, why not.” But since agreeing to what I thought would be mindless, easy fun, this turned into an ensemble of violin, flute, and piano, playing a lot of songs I’m only barely familiar with. I have a month to learn 15-20 new songs well enough to play professionally.

Meanwhile I still have a wife and kids, and an office job, not to mention the chaotic demands of the squadron’s flight schedule, where I’m usually one of the top three flyers out of several dozen for hours and sorties on the jet.

I’m not sharing all this to say “Yay, look at my busy life.” It may not come through in the text, but there’s a panicked desperation in my mind as of the man overboard flailing for a life preserver.

Clearly good is becoming the enemy of some goals. I imagine it’s the same for many of us, because modern life and society are relentless in their demands.

But there I am, behind that mirror, looking at all the good suspects arranged before me. The truth is, I don’t need a one-way mirror and a line-up to figure out what’s to blame.

A plain mirror will do just fine.

Writing

Good vs the Goal

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“Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.” 

The oft-quoted adage conveys important wisdom. In our efforts to make something the best it can be, we might pour too much effort or time into a project when “good enough” would suffice. Perfection is notoriously impossible to obtain, especially when we rely on our subjective judgment to make determinations. Most of us are never so confident as to say something we do or create is perfect… but it’s what many of us strive for nonetheless.

Wise people recognize when “good” is good enough, and refocus their attention or resources to accomplish the next task instead of perfecting the first.

Yet I find a related lesson as I consider that first quote:

We must not let good become the enemy of our goal.

In life, if we’re open to new ideas and watching for new opportunities, there are always choices and options available which seem appealing or even ideal. It’s too easy to follow these rabbit trails into tangential tasks and irrelevant efforts that feel good but never satisfy our deeper desires.

Motivational speakers and writers issue a common refrain: if you’re going to succeed at the most important thing to you, it has to become the most important thing to you.

Sometimes that means getting up earlier. Working on the weekend. Putting in some hours working at your passion, after you’ve already put in a full day’s work on the job. Other times, it means forsaking what’s appealing for what you’re accomplishing. While friends party or catch a movie, you grind a little more today so you start tomorrow further along the path to the goal. When genuinely good commitments are asked of you, sometimes it means saying, “I can’t do that right now.”

Speaking of financial stability and living within one’s means, Dave Ramsey puts it this way:

“If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else.”

His program applies this principle toward financial management, and participants cut unnecessary or excessive expenses while planning and monitoring their budgets down to the penny. The same concept applies to anyone who sets out to accomplish some difficult and demanding long-term goal–except it means cutting irrelevant activities and expenditures of energy, and focusing in on the actual priorities we claim mean so much.

I’m presuming you’ve already made some goals and decided certain activities are worth your effort–perhaps fitness achievements or weight loss, perhaps a career in writing or art or music, maybe some professional education or advancement with a clearly laid-out path and requirements.

Step one is to figure out what matters to you and commit to it, not as some hobby, thing on the side, or “personal interest.”  Of this you can be certain: Make such a decision, and those good temptations and worthwhile distractions will come out of the woodwork. So what’s the way forward?

Make the most of your time.

Sometimes we can kill two or three birds with one stone. As I type, I’m sitting on the bike, finishing an hour pedaling away. I’m knocking out my exercise for today while getting a blog post typed up while taking time for personal reflection while meeting today’s word count goal.

In a similar vein, while waiting in line at the post office or grocery store, I’ve typed up blogs or short stories, outlined D&D sessions or book ideas, coordinated events or meetings, and so on.

When I feel rushed, I consider my YouTube video history, the “hours played” on various video games, or the Netflix log of shows I’ve watched. We all have 24 hours a day, with probably 8 hours that we allocate as we see fit.

Long-term effort made of small steps and good decisions is the only path to success and accomplishing some of our goals. I can’t get fit in a week of high-intensity workouts and crash-diets. I won’t write a novel by sitting down and cranking out 80,000 words in a couple days. I’m not likely to see a million dollars drop into my bank account so I can pay off all my debts and save for retirement. Regular, disciplined effort is the only way forward.

Small steps add up to big results.

A few hundred words isn’t much, but when I write 500 in the half-hour before work, then 600 at lunch, then 250 while waiting to pay my groceries, then another 800 before bed… that’s how progress is made.

Paying an extra $50 or $100 on a bill until it’s gone means that I have that money plus the amount of the regular bill available to apply elsewhere in the budget. This is a big part of how Dave Ramsey’s program eliminates debt: small steps that build momentum.

Still, all too often there’s a whole gang of “good” calling for my attention.

I may have to learn to say no.

What about you? How do you balance pursuing your interests and passions with the demands of “real life” and other commitments? Got any tips for readers? (That really means please can I steal some good ideas because I’m desperate.) Let me know in a comment below.

 

Fitness

Sixteen Stages of Spin Class

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One – Anticipation: Starting the day prior, when I make the decision to go Spin, excitement and positive energy flow through me. A decision made is like 90% of the job done, right? I’m so fit already.

Two – Delaying Tactics: That snooze button just looks so inviting, I have to press it twice. Or three or four times. Maybe I can count these as reps?

Three – Pre-workout Cardio: Holy crap, class starts in 20 minutes and I just got out of bed gaaaah! 10 minutes of dashing and flailing ensues.

Four – Preparation: Setting my neatly folded towel across the handlebars, dropping a chilled bottle of water into the slot, adjusting the seat height and foot straps and all that… oh yeah, I’m an old Spin pro, no need to worry about me, kindly instructor. I am ready. I am able. I got this.

Five – Warm-up: This is easy. Here we go. Good cadence, good beat, just pedaling… nothing to it. “Turn that resistance knob to the right about seven times…” –wait whaaat?

Six – Regret: I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. “Turn it to the right a couple more times, and climb that mountain!”

What have I done?

Seven – Anguish: How are we only ten minutes in? And why does it look like the hands on the clock are frozen?

…oh, wait, they’re moving backwards.


“The LifeCycle Misery Engine 6.66 is the finest in our line of torture methods and satanic ritual implements. 

The 35-pound weighted wheel acts as a millstone, grinding up hopes and dreams into the victim’s delicious tears.”

– taken direct from the LifeCycle website product description, before that model’s site was removed. Honest. 

Eight – Confusion: What the heck are Sprint Tabatas?!

Nine – Despair: Oh. Those are sprint tabatas. “We’re gonna do one more set, but add a little resistance first!”

My God, my God, why hast Thou forsaken me?

Ten – Second Wind: We’re halfway there. I just have to not die for like thirty more minutes… and then I can die.

Eleven – Second Anguish: “Okay, turn that resistance up and pick up the pace! Now we’re starting the high intensity part of the ride!”

…what have we been doing this whole time?

Twelve – Spirit Journey: My soul no longer wishes to be present in this physical body, and so it vacates the premises in search of assistance or relief. Sadly the vision quest ends with the instructor shouting “Going back for more hills!!! Turn that knob to the right and  give me a hard, hard climb!!!”

Thirteen – Resignation: There is no point in looking at the clock. There is no light at the end of the tunnel, nor is there an imaginary finish line at the top of this imaginary hill. There is only more pain, more burning in my legs, more stabbing betrayal by this bike seat, and another hill.

“Turn it to the right and give me your best effort!”

Begrudging groan and hopeless acceptance.

Fourteen – Nirvana: Awareness of self is destroyed and I am become nothingness. A disembodied voice that sounds like my own assures me it’s best if I’m not present for what is happening to my flesh husk.

Fifteen – Cool down: I didn’t know those knobs could turn to the left to reduce the amount of human suffering in the room. Is this for real? It feels like a trap, but I tentatively follow along through various stretches.

Sixteen – Stockholm Syndrome: I am standing in a puddle of liquified pain squeezed from my corpulent mass as if by a wine press. I clean off the equipment and hobble out to my car. And then, in the sunrise, I hear my voice say, “That was awesome! Can’t wait to do it again!”