Elements of Critique: Appearance

Welcome to the A to Z Blog Challenge for 2014, and thanks to you readers who are coming from that list to check this out.

This year I’m covering elements of critique: What to look for to make our writing stronger.

A critique is all about getting other eyes on our efforts, finding out what works and what doesn’t, seeing around our blind spots by taking advantage of the eyes and experience of several others.

Critiquing someone’s creative work can be daunting. You’re picking apart something they poured their heart into. But when everyone realizes the end result is a far stronger piece of writing, the slight pain of criticism and the terror of becoming vulnerable become well worth it.

When you hit “Publish” and send your words out into the Internet, or when you click “Send” on that e-mail delivering your manuscript to a submissions address at a publisher, the people who see your material have one unconscious motivation:

To dismiss it as quickly as possible.

Blog reader feeds and e-mail inboxes fill up fast. People don’t have time to wade through hundreds of articles. We naturally skim through, ostensibly looking for something to catch our eye. In reality, we’re flashing past plenty of material that for whatever reason we deem inconsequential, not worth our time.

Likewise, any editor accepting submissions is going to be inundated with pitches, queries, and manuscripts. The sooner that pile can be whittled down, the better. There’s a hundred more where this manuscript came from.

So the very first element of critique that I want to focus on is appearance.

Any editor or publisher is going to provide guidance for how submissions must be formatted. Magazine editors will post guidelines to give a prospective writer all the details necessary to know how to prepare their query or pitch. Even my critique group provides a formatting requirement, and they will pick on submissions that don’t follow the standards.

For example, If I send my piece in Helvetica font when the publisher demands Times New Roman, right from the outset, I’ve told them a few things:
“I don’t pay attention to what you want. I want you to pay attention to me.”
“I’m above following your rules. I will be a problem to work with.”
“I don’t have time to look at piddly details. That’s what I have you for.”

When a guideline tells me to use a specific style (AP Style Manual or what have you), I should get a quick primer for what that means. It might mean typing ‘OK’ instead of ‘okay.’ Or it could mean not using the Oxford comma when making a list of 1, 2, and 3. (The comma after 2 and before the ‘and’ is the offending comma.)

Tiny details. Simple matters. Easy to miss, with potentially large consequences.

The critique group I belong to has guidelines, and we mostly follow them. There’s room among friends for “I forgot” or “Something went wrong in Word” as excuses.

The editor or potential reader isn’t there to be my friend. I don’t want to give him or her any reason to ignore what I have to offer.

You only get one chance to make a first impression. Make sure it’s good.

Appearance matters.

Tomorrow I will look at background.

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April Already?

An e-mail in my inbox today reminded me that April is the month for the famed A to Z Blog Challenge, and for a moment I thought, “Not again…”

Last year I tried doing A to Z on two different blogs, with completely different themes… in addition to posting on two other blogs with still completely separate themes.

It was a challenge, yes. One I’m glad I accomplshed, and one I never want to repeat.

But one blog is easy (or so I tell myself now).

I recently joined Scribophile, an online writing community that operates based on mutual constructive critique. It’s a give and take system where you can only post your work by earning points through giving thoughtful critique to work done by others. Want to post your next chapter or article? Get critiquing!

On top of that, I have become a vocal advocate for participation in a critique group because of the benefits I’ve received from my local group of “critters.”

One of the subjects I saw discussed on Scribophile is, “What makes a good critique?” Isn’t that subjective? What sorts of things should one look for when reading someone’s creative work?

Bam. A to Z topic selected!

This I can do, because it’s something I’m passionate about.

There will be some other posts, but there shall be A to Z posts every day throughout April (with the exception of Sundays) related to facets of writing I look for when I critique a piece.

You have been warned.

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Answered Before I Asked

This is the fourth “God Leads” devotional I’m posting, based on my experiences as a young Christian man serving in the military.

GOD LEADS EVEN WHEN WE’RE NOT FOLLOWING

Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear. (Isaiah 65:24, NIV)

I smoked in the church parking lot during their Christmas party. I expected criticism. But a lady stepped outside and chatted with me instead.
“What kind of church is this?”
I grew up attending weekly services and knew how Christians behaved. But I walked away once I joined the military. Sunday morning was for sleeping in.
I tried the base Chapel a couple times during my training. In Texas, I made some friends at a small evening service. A military spouse opened her home for Airmen to hang out.
Also, the pianist was hot.
But once I got to Japan, I stopped attending church again.
God didn’t stop pursuing me.
I got a call from a missionary inviting me to the Christmas party. I said, “Why are you calling me?”
“You were in Texas, right?” she said. “Your friend’s neighbor lived here and knew me back then. Your friend talked to her and she suggested I call you.”
Small world.
My life fell apart when I moved to Japan, so I agreed to go. The people welcomed me like family.
“I like this church,” I told the missionary.
“I don’t go there, but I know a girl who does. She lives in the dorm next to yours.”
That night, I met Jami, my ride to church. She became my best Christian friend. God worked on my heart, and I surrendered to Him. The more I pursued God, the more Jami fell in love with me. And I fell in love with her.
Also, she was hot.
When I was not seeking Him, God drew me back to Himself and connected me with the woman of my dreams. Before I asked, He prepared an answer.

Application: God knows and plans for what we need before we ask.

Single Ladies

Two days ago I posted about some outrage from religious groups toward the movie Frozen. They claim the story pushes a “homosexual agenda” on children, and their proof, among other things, is that Queen Elsa never goes after any of the men in the film.

I talked about why I thought they got that impression, and then presented the very different message I found in the movie.

But the fact this is even up for discussion leads me to a question, one borne out of purely selfish motives. In order to tell a story that is both compelling and marketable, in light of this sort of debate, I have to ask:

Does the heroine need a hero? Does the female lead require a love interest?

The “compelling” part is easily dealt with. A story needs whatever makes it work, whatever gives it power. Effort spent jamming a hackneyed romance into a story will be obvious, through a hollow feeling, a lack of resonation with the audience, or an eye-rolling “This character is stupid” reaction from a reader.

The wise editor and skillful writer can look at parts of a work-in-progress critically, seeing when some subplot does too little to advance the overall narrative. Every word counts, and must earn its keep. Maybe the part that gets cut is a romance, maybe it’s a really cool action sequence, maybe it’s entire characters getting merged into one. There’s only so much time in a movie, so many pages in a book.

The more difficult question is how a work will be received by the market. Disney’s princess movies are known for a formula. The princess meets a prince. With his help, she overcomes her internal conflict, resolves the external problem, and they live happily ever after. Now, they’ve stepped away from the formula a bit with Brave and Tangled. But apparently Frozen went too far, despite the romance between Princess Anna and Kristof. After all, Queen Elsa never shows interest in any man…

Because the story isn’t about her falling in love.

Consider some of other movies (and books) with a female lead: Hunger Games and Divergent.

Even though both leads fall in love over the course of their respective trilogies, Katniss Everdeen and Tris Prior give the distinct impression that they can handle things without Peeta or Four, thank you very much. Both are concerned with staying alive in an unfamiliar situation. Neither goes into their adventure searching for a man, because that’s not the theme of the story. Instead, they meet and bond with allies, who through shared adversity become something more.

The authors fit romances in, and that weaves nicely into the plot, giving added conflict and tension as characters’ goals diverge (hehe). The stories aren’t dependent on their romantic arcs. They can be just as compelling without that element.

But the romance boosts the books’ marketability. Some readers might not care about a dystopian setting, but they’ll look past that to read a coming-of-age story they can relate to. Some readers might not care for either of those all that much, but they’ll take it alongside a plot of budding romance. And some readers might just be catching up on the books in order to understand the movie – or better yet, to avoid a years-long wait to find out what happens next.

I said I had a selfish motive. When this controversy about Frozen first “came out,” one of my first thoughts was my current writing projects. One book series has two female leads. Another has a female lead. None of the three have love interests (at this moment in writing drafts and planning).

Is that wrong? I don’t think so.

In fact, the thought of conjuring up a lovely face to accompany them, stuffing scenes and chapters in to create romantic tension and bonding… that feels wrong.

None of those characters are interested in romance during the timeframe of the story. When your world is falling apart, love isn’t always your first thought.

That’s not saying it can’t happen. Certainly it can, and it works in a lot of stories as one element, perhaps even the main theme.

But that leads right back to the original question: What’s the point of the story?

Once I know that, I write what fits and cut the rest. (ideally)

Back to Frozen, can you imagine fitting a romance for Elsa into that plot line without taking away from the impact of the sisterly bond at the center of the story?

One of the bloggers at the center of this controversy responded to some of her critics. And she quoted a friend, Jonathan Wilson, who took a reasonable stance:

“Frozen can certainly be successfully applied as an allegory for homosexual struggle. The authors may or may not have had that in mind when they wrote it. But Frozen is good enough art to rise above a specific allegorical meaning. It demonstrates broad applicability to many different human experiences. That is why it appeals to so many people.”

Remember, entertainment has to be marketable. A wide variety of stuff can be covered by this blanket.

Art is compelling. That means the field narrows significantly, and the artist keeps only what fits.

Tastes Old

Inspired by my thorough enjoyment of a recent visit to the symphony, where the wifey and I scored free box seats for “Cocktail Hour: Music of the Mad Men Era,” I picked up an album on iTunes today.

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It’s Frank Sinatra’s Nothing But the Best remastered collection.

My kids (and some readers) might say “Ugh, what is that?” Is it proof that I really truly am now old?

Bah.

I’ll tell you what it is. It’s called taste in music.

Frozen: Love Worth Dying For

Yesterday I posted (link) this blog about the hidden message some religious people see in Disney’s blockbuster movie Frozen. When we see culture changing all around us, it can be scary. And when we’re scared, we start looking for what we fear, and see it around every corner. Like I said yesterday, I don’t think “homophobia” is the right word. We don’t fear homosexuals. We fear change.

At the end, I promised to share my take on the positive message of the movie. So if you haven’t seen the movie yet (and why haven’t you?) then you can expect some spoilers ahead.

Quick recap if you haven’t seen it:

The gist of the story is that Princess Elsa was born with a magic ability to manipulate ice. As a child she uses this to bring joy to her little sister, Princess Anna. (pronounced ‘Ah-na,’ mind you. My kids correct me all the time.)

Elsa accidentally injures Anna, and everyone decides it would be best to hide these powers away until Elsa can control them. So she grows up repeating a mantra of “conceal, don’t feel, don’t let it show.” Her powers grow stronger, and her fears rise accordingly. To protect others, she keeps everyone away, including young Anna, who doesn’t understand why “we used to be best buddies, and now we’re not.”

At Queen Elsa’s coronation, her powers are revealed and she flees. When everything goes wrong, the whole kingdom falls under a bitter winter, buried in snow and ice. Villains attempt to kill Elsa to end the crisis. And Elsa once again injures Anna by accident, putting a shard of ice into Anna’s heart that will eventually freeze her solid.

Only an act of true love can thaw the ice and save Anna, so she chases after the man she loves, hoping a kiss from him will save the day.

This leads to a climax, where Anna is stumbling through a storm to reach Kristof (her beau) and Elsa is being stalked by the villain who stands ready to kill her. Suddenly Anna sees Elsa in danger, and jumps in the way of the villain’s blade, freezing solid in the process. Everyone is sad, until Anna’s heart thaws out. “An act of true love will thaw the frozen heart,” they recall.

The kingdom is saved, the sisters bond, everyone’s happy except the villains, and credits roll.

A lot of people note that this movie is not the typical Disney “Prince Charming saves the Princess” story. No princes save the day here. Even Kristof, Anna’s love interest, is not a pivotal hero but more her faithful companion and support. In other words, the whole movie seems to say to young girls, “You don’t need a man to complete you.” I think that’s a wholesome message in a culture that loves to emphasize the need for romantic and sexual relationships.

Elsa has powers and puts them to use for good. Anna has the power of determination and love, and she overcomes adversity in pursuit of her goals. Both characters are depicted as strong, resourceful women who face their difficulties and imperfections with fierce devotion and integrity. That’s also a great message for our young women (and men).

There’s also the “Let It Go” theme of not hiding away our creativity or passion. Someone (see yesterday’s blog post) might think it’s “the homosexual agenda” encouraging people to come out of the closet, and I suppose that’s a valid application. But it’s only one of many. I have writer friends who have hidden away their work, afraid of critique or even being open enough to share it with another. I know artists who draw amazing things you’d never see because they’ll never show you. Musicians and vocalists with skills to blow me away often hide their talents in the ground. Young people sometimes conceal their hobbies, interests, and exceptional abilities, because their passion is something their peers might deride. Frozen is a film that says “We need you to let that go and let everyone see it, because we need your talents in the world.”

And that’s not even the main thrust of the movie. Let’s look for a moment at the conflict at the climax.

The first thing I see is sacrificial love. Anna leaps in front of the villain’s sword, an action that will almost certainly result in great injury if not death. Anna does this without hesitation. The only thing that protects her is that she freezes solid at that very moment, something she couldn’t anticipate.

Second, Anna’s actions reveal selfless love. At this point, Anna and Olaf are convinced she needs a kiss from Kristof, the guy that truly loves her, to cure the freezing condition Elsa’s ice shard caused. Anna is mere steps away from Kristof when she sees Elsa in danger. Anna gives up her kiss to come to her sister’s defense.

Third, this is arguably an expression of undeserved love. Elsa is an icy witch to Anna throughout the majority of the movie, and Anna doesn’t know why. Their bond is broken. The sisterly love seems one-sided. On top of that, Elsa’s the one who accidentally shot Anna in the heart. Anna has every reason to be distant, but instead hurls herself into the path of the sword.

Olaf, unlikely Christ figure.
Olaf, unlikely Christ figure.

Oddly enough, it’s Olaf the Snowman who speaks this theme aloud. When Anna is shivering in the castle, Olaf starts the fire in the fireplace to warm Anna and keep her alive, even though it means he might melt. Anna sees this and panics for her friend, who responds, “Some people are worth melting for.”

That’s my take on Frozen. It’s a message of sacrificial, selfless love to the undeserving. Reminds me of a story about Someone else I hold dear.

Tomorrow, I have some thoughts about the supposed need for a romantic relationship in a story, and why the non-troversy about Elsa is so frustrating to me.

Roaches in Every Corner

A cockroach!

The little beast scurried across the floor as soon as the light came on. I chased it with a shoe, determined to end its occupation of my house. And with a little effort and a shot of hairspray to slow it down, I succeeded.

But then something funny happened.

Everywhere I looked, there were imaginary bugs in the corners of my vision. Something seemed to move over there in the living room, so I jumped into action, checking behind shelves and under the couch. What was that in the hall? Did I see something move near our shoes? Ten minutes of searching put that fear to rest. But then I would swear I saw a bug in the bathroom, hiding behind the toilet.

Once I had seen one bug, I imagined dozens. Each time I regained a sense of peace, the tiniest apparition of a bug or spider sent me scurrying trying to exterminate them.

I wonder if evangelical Christians sometimes feel this way.

So there’s this little movie called Frozen that came out around Thanksgiving, about two sisters, one of whom has a big problem. You may have heard of it.

Apparently, there’s a religious (Catholic, I’m told) blogger on the Interwebs posting that Frozen pushes “the homosexual agenda” on kids.

What evidence supports that claim?

1. Elsa, the princess-turned-queen, never pines after any of the guys in the movie. This is decidedly unlike Disney, so it must be a hint.
2. There’s an ambiguous scene where a shopkeeper points out his family in the sauna, and there’s another man in there with the kids. Is that his brother, or…?
3. “Let It Go” – essentially the movie’s theme and the winner of an Oscar for best song – could be construed as a message to come out of the closet and stop hiding who you are.

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If anything, the obvious proof of the homosexual agenda in the movie is Olaf, with his show-tune style song and dance number. That just can’t be straight. (/sarcasm)

Don’t mind the fact Elsa’s trying to control powers she doesn’t fully understand, while trying to fix the weather crisis she brought upon her nation, while trying to stop a coup d’etat, while dealing with her family troubles. She’s not busy or anything. Certainly has time to make googly-eyes at the zero potential suitors presented in the movie. She must be gay.

Cockroaches scurrying everywhere!

I’m not surprised by the fears this blogger has passed on to others. It doesn’t shock me that Frozen is the newest potential target in the religious war on All Things Bad.

I just think it misses the point. Several points, in fact.

Let me be clear. I hate how easily the word “homophobia” gets thrown around in response to these discussions. We don’t fear people who are homosexual, just like we don’t fear anyone else we disagree with on political or religious issues.

Christians are in some ways just like everyone else I know. We fear change.

The world around evangelical Christianity is changing constantly, and we in that camp struggle on many fronts:

      What do we do to keep up?

 

      Wait, should we even be keeping up with the world?

 

      Or should we stick to our traditions?

 

      What message should we communicate to non-Christians then?

 

      And meanwhile, what messages are our kids getting from the culture around us?

 

    What fights are important right now?

In panic mode, when we think we’re seeing sin around every corner, we might get a little crazy trying to clean house.

Not long ago, I heard Christians upset at Hunger Games for its depiction of violence against children. No one disagrees with the idea that children killing each other is evil. That’s kind of the point of a dystopian fiction, to show a world of “what if?” where the unthinkable has become the norm. These Christians overlooked Katniss’s view and actions showing life has value, and instead attacked as wrong the very thing the author put in as what’s wrong in that society.

Back in the early 00s, it was Harry Potter. Witchcraft and wizards, we shrieked. What might our kids learn from this? Maybe it gets them interested in other spiritual content, Wicca or pagan systems that believe in magic. We can’t have our kids running around with wands, painting lightning bolts on their heads! Forget that it got kids reading. Forget that throughout the storyline, it’s clear that the love of Harry’s mother triumphed over Voldemort’s evil, and that the love and loyalty of friends is strong enough to defeat Voldemort at the end.

I’m pretty sure Pokemon was a subject of consternation. What are all those creatures with magical powers, and why do kids have to use them to fight each other, like little Michael Vicks? Video games are favorite targets for both the church and society at large. “Evil” rockers of the day took the place of the last set of so-called devil worshippers; the Dad who heard about the dangers of Ozzy Osbourne now found himself preaching fear to a son holding a Marilyn Manson CD. Even the Teletubbies earned the ire of evangelical preachers. Why does that purple one have a purse?

In the 80s, we flipped out about Dungeons and Dragons and told horror stories of what it did to unsuspecting children. D&D is full of magic, and Dragons are obviously signs of the devil based on Scripture. I’m sure there were plenty who condemned Star Wars. The idea of the Force looked like a trap of New Age philosophy hidden in a new and interesting spin in a sci-fi epic, luring kids (and adults) in with starship battles and lightsaber fencing.

What’s that scrambling across the floor in the corner of my eye?

When we look at what’s popular in the culture only to see what might be wrong with it, we often miss the point of what’s right. There are messages we can affirm, themes with which we’d whole-heartedly agree. Conversations can start on these subjects, opportunities to explain our position to a world that thinks we’re defined by being “against.”

And we won’t have to freak out at every little bad thing we think we see… because most of the time, they’re not there.

To bring it full circle, what’s my take on Frozen? I’ll post that tomorrow, as an example of what positive themes we can get from a movie someone decries as “evil.”

Frozen Fresh

“Do you want to build discussion?”

I’m sitting with ice on my Frankenstein foot following physical therapy. The chill is comforting and soothing.

And I’m thinking about a Facebook conversation with some friends about the meaning and messages (overt or subtle) of the movie Frozen.

There’s no doubt that the movie took the world by storm. It’s made over a billion dollars if memory serves; the movie and its well-known song “Let It Go” won an Oscar; it even forced me to run out to find my wife a talking Olaf snowman for her birthday.

The movie does things with the plot and characters that no Disney movie has tried before. It’s refreshing and different. One of the main characters doesn’t even get a love interest. And the hero is not the prince or charming guy dashing in to save the day. The typical love story is off to the side while the spotlight shines on the bond between sisters.

But there’s some discussion in some corners of the Internet about what exactly the movie is teaching our kids. So I thought before I make a couple posts, I’d ask you, dear readers, for your opinions.

No wrong answer. Just wondering what you see when you watched it. Let me know in a comment please.

(Let me know… Let me know… Don’t hold it back anymore…)

Thanks for your time.
;

God's Gifts Make a Way

This is the third of five “God Leads” devotionals based on my experiences as a young Christian man in the military.

GOD MAKES A WAY FOR HIS GIFTS IN US

…According to your faith be it unto you. (Matthew 9:29, KJV)

“He’s so amazing,” I said. “I wish I could play and sing like him.”
Friends from church invited the singles over for spaghetti. While we ate, we watched a video of a musical minister leading worship from a piano. I started playing with our church worship team using one of this singer’s most popular songs.
“His lyrics minister so well,” I said. “They speak right to people’s needs.”
Our church bass player agreed with me.
The host looked us both in the eye. “I see God doing the same thing in you two.”
The bass player said what was on my mind. “Oh, no, not me. I couldn’t do that.”
The host stood up and declared, “Be it unto you according to your faith.”
I was shocked, frozen to my seat.
“Little faith, you reap little,” he continued. “Big faith, you reap big.”
The words echoed in my thoughts for an hour. I drove back to church long before the evening service and sat down at the piano.
“God, if that’s really something You’ll do, then… have Your way.”
I started playing. I chose a few chords, thought of some words, and sang. In two hours, I wrote four songs.
Since then, I started hearing music in my pastor’s sermons. I wrote over one hundred songs. We translated one into Japanese, and several became regular tunes at our church. I believed God, and He answered.
But I am also haunted by one thought, and I hope I’m wrong:
I never saw the bass player write any songs.

Application: Following God’s lead means taking chances and trusting Him for results.

National Anything Day Day

Apparently today is “National Ravioli Day,” if the Ruby Tuesday’s e-mail ad is to be believed.

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I love me some cheese-filled pasta, whether it’s a special restaurant recipe or simple Chef Boyardee’s. So I’m down for celebrating what is clearly a holiday of great cultural import, second only to National Twerk at Work Day (April 1st, if memory serves).

It’s not too late for ravioli. Supper awaits. You too can celebrate this great American… um… dinner option? Side dish?

I’d love to find the persons responsible for setting all these “National Day of” whatever days. I mean, do they have a database to ensure no repeats, with all these new additions over the years? Who determines if something is a bit too close to another day’s coverage?

For example, would National Linguine Day conflict with Ravioli Day? Probably not. But National Fettuccine Day would have to be scrapped, and I’m pretty sure Spaghetti Day has them both beat.

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (yes, that’s a thing) might even claim it as a religious holiday.

Perhaps we could have a day to celebrate all the various national days we now have, hence the title of this post. We could promote it under the guise of encouraging diversity, which is never a bad thing.

Never ever. (One cannot be weak in their praise of this virtue, lest one become a pundit on Fox News and find oneself summarily dismissed by those that hold the correct opinions.)

Despite the inherent diversity, all these conflicting days can become confusing for the average consumer. Therefore I will begin a petition to demand a new addition to the Executive Branch, in order to ensure proper celebration selections and mitigation of National Day conflicts. It will be called the Department of Holidays.

Because if the US Government has proven anything of late, it’s that they definitely deserve a giant “DOH!”