I chugged the last of my third can of Diet Mountain Dew (or Mtn Dew, as the label now reads), and I listened to the radio news on the way home from work.

“A court in New York struck down the city’s ruling limiting beverage sizes in restaurants to 16 ounces.”

Well good. That was stupid.

Then I hear that somebody or other “vows to appeal and continue this fight.”

Seriously?

New York City must be an absolutely amazing place. If the biggest problem on their plate these days is fighting against a venti or the dreaded 32 oz giant soda from the gas station, then we should all be moving there ASAP. Forget crime, and gun control (or lack thereof). Forget about cities going bankrupt or businesses struggling, or unemployment rates.

Someone out there might drink a 24 oz cup of Coke!

What’s to stop me from getting a 16 oz soda at lunch, and then another one an hour later, and then another one on the way home from work? What prevents me from buying a twelve-pack of deadly sugary Coke to put in the fridge at work?

Like I said, I heard this as I finished my third can in about as many hours. Maybe that’s a sign of a problem. Thankfully they were zero calorie diet versions, because otherwise I would have thirty-six ounces of death in my veins!

Nothing in the current law stops people from drinking as much soda as they want. It just wastes time and effort trying to limit the size of the cup. Will this curb obesity? I don’t know… are we also limiting the size of fast food orders, and are we imposing guidelines on how many calories someone can eat in a given day? Are we enacting junk food taxes on chips and candy? Heck, I used a Starbucks venti as an example, since the 20 oz White Chocolate Mocha I used to enjoy is about the equivalent of drinking a Burger King Whopper. But the law appears to be aimed at sugary soda only.

This is like saying that in order to reduce traffic violations, any motorcycle exceeding the speed limit will be pulled over. What about all the other vehicles on the road? The law does nothing to really address the problem it’s aimed at. And it’s a stupid law because anyone can easily drink more than 16 oz of soda at any time.

Yet NYC has the resources and time and energy to appeal the appeal of the original decision in order to “continue the fight against this obesity epidemic!” Oh, so very brave! The Big Apple is lucky to have Don Quixote champions like Bloomberg, riding in to rescue the city from terrible imaginary danger.

I’ll raise my 32 oz large theater cup to that lofty goal.