Tag Archives: time

Rapid Logging Reflection

I’ve used the Bullet Journal system of rapid-logging for over six years (starting in December 2016). I mentioned in a recent post how I realized I’d gotten away from doing the reflection part of the system.

While I have sometimes taken the necessary time to incorporate artwork and other frills into my Bullet Journal practice, one of the big draws of the system for many is that it is rapid.

If you don’t want to, you don’t have to spend a bunch of hours and effort making a Pinterest-perfect page or Insta-worthy image on every page. The original point is to have a place to quickly ‘download’ stuff from your brain onto the page so you can take the time to review and respond later.

So I decided to add some symbols to my key – something that takes less than a second to add to the page, but gives me an easy way to get the most out of my journal when I come back to it at the end of the day.

Simple, quick, effective… as I believe the heart of the system intends such devices to be.

 

 

 

When I watched Ryder Carroll’s end of year livestream, the idea of using reflection to capture what you want more of and what you want less of really resonated with me. It was like I’d been putting a puzzle together for six years and I’d forgotten to look at the picture on the box to see what the end result should be.

I wanted a fast way to note these two aspects (“more of this,” “less of this”) and a way to see the results at a glance.

More of This

For the experiences I want to repeat or increase, I thought a plus sign in a circle like the positive end of a battery would be a great way to quickly capture those things which gave me a recharge or renewed sense of purpose. More of these please.

For example, yesterday I helped some coworkers find necessary resources or answers to their questions about how to do their job. Not surprisingly, it felt great to be useful and to help someone out. That’s a plus.

Recently I took a few minutes to sit at the piano and “vent” a little emotion through the keys. Better that than to lose my temper about something stupid, or to hold it all in and wallow in negative emotions. That was a good release, time well spent; that’s a plus.

When I take time to add a little color, I put a light green shade on these to make them stand out even more.

Less of This

For those moments when I know I’ve screwed up or repeated a personal failure or weakness I’m trying to eliminate, a simple “No” circle with a bar through it is a great rapid reminder for later. Like a street sign that says “No entry,” I want these indicators to help me redirect my emotions and actions so that I stop trying to go down the roads of life the wrong way.

For example, I had an outburst of anger the other morning as I was trying to get out the door. My bag caught on my chair and knocked down my “spill-proof” coffee cup. The cup’s lid popped off a bit, spraying hot coffee on me and all over the floor. (It literally sprayed from the floor to my face almost six feet in the air.) I had to drop everything and clean up when I was already running behind.

I didn’t handle it well, but I knew that my reaction was ridiculous, excessive, and unhelpful. When I get stressed out and angry about things, the rest of the family gets stressed out by my temper. That is NOT who I want to be.

A quick note with a “No” symbol left me room to come back in reflection to consider all the ways this was an avoidable failure.

Not only should I control my emotions and actions better, but I could have been a little more slow and deliberate with my stuff so the coffee cup didn’t get knocked down in the first place.

Why didn’t I do that? Because I was running late so I was rushing. Why was I running late? Because I took more time that morning for mindless YouTube-ing and doomscrolling on social media. Why did I do that? Because I didn’t start off the morning with my focused rituals that set the course for my day and get my head in the mindset I want to live out.

So in reflection, I was able to slap a “no” on all those sub-components that contributed to the coffee debacle. Less of all of that, please.

I sometimes color these red to make them pop off the page a little more when I look back over what I’ve been doing.

Can you spot me a 20-minutes?

I’ve been listening to Ryan Holiday and some other proponents of Stoicism lately. There’s a lot that I really like – the internal locus of control, for example. I’ve been challenged and inspired by a number of the values shared… especially by the concept of Memento Mori, a Latin phrase for “Remember your death.”

This image – stark white on deep black – makes me think of the value of our few precious moments.

The reminder is meant to call attention to the limited time we have before we die, and the unavoidable inevitability of that death. This is not meant to make everything seem meaningless or leave you wallowing in nihilism; it’s meant to help reveal just how precious each moment we have actually is.

The Stoic call in remembering your death is to stop wasting time on stuff that doesn’t matter, and to refocus your attention on what you mean to accomplish with the short, brief life we’re given. It should strip away useless, irrelevant activities.

Holiday mentioned once how often we might be guarded with our money, like “Sorry, no, I’m not giving you the ten bucks in my pocket just because you asked.” But then someone asks for or demands ten minutes of our time, for something that holds no value or interest for us, and it’s like, “Oh, well, it’s just ten minutes. No big deal.”

You can make more money, but you can’t make more time. The clock is winding down on your life and you can’t turn the hand back no matter how hard you try. Memento Mori.

I thought it might be really challenging to track my time similar to how I might note how much money I spend. To have a symbol that helps me mentally turn time into a sort of currency, treating minutes like dollars.

I wanted something like the $ symbol for dollars, or ¥ for yen, etc. I thought about a T with an extra crossbar, or something.

I went with M for minutes, and one atop the other as a reminder of Memento Mori.

In my outburst example above, I ended up making a note that I’d spent 60 minutes on useless YouTube or social-media browsing, which was a catalyst that contributed to everything else that happened that morning.

Rapid-Logging Reflection

Reflection is a process that takes SOME time, by design. That’s kind of the point.

However, these symbols are going to help me 1) do it, and 2) get more out of the time I spend doing so. This, without adding some crazy level of complexity to the symbols or techniques I use for my version of Bullet Journaling.

Do you think these would work for you? Or do you have another way you use to identify the stuff in your life that you want to increase or decrease? I’d love to hear your thoughts – let me know in a comment.

Side Note: Memento Mori? But aren’t you a Christian?

Yes, seeing as I’m a Christian who believes in Jesus as the resurrection and the life, and the giver of eternal life, it might seem inconsistent or contradictory to find meaning in “Memento Mori.”

After all, the Apostle Paul wrote about how dying didn’t bother him – in fact, it was gain, an improved state! Dying just meant he would be with Christ. (See Philippians 1:20-26)

I don’t think a number of the modern-day adherents of Stoicism would share Paul’s hope of eternity. I’ve also had atheist and materialist friends express the idea to me that recognizing we only get this one life instills a precious value into every moment.

That said, even as a Christian, I also recognize that I only get this one lifetime to do any good or make any difference in the world. I have a hope of eternity, but after I pass away, there’s no coming back to tie up loose ends, to finish the tasks or personal goals I left undone, to resolve the hurts in relationships, to redeem any of the time I spent pursuing lesser things.

Paul in the above passage recognizes that though he has no fear of death because being with Christ will be better for him, he also could still do a lot of good for the church in Philippi if he lives to be released from prison. He hopes to make the most of the time in order to make the biggest impact and best benefit for the other believers.

One of my add-on memory verses is Ephesians 5:15-17. “Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then, do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.”

Memento Mori. You may have eternity to look forward to, but you only have this life in which to impact eternity for those around you.

Out of Time

Here’s another poem meant as a spoken word piece.
I know it’s been a while since the last post – one of many factors that inspired this poem. I’ve had a number of blog post ideas that sound great for a moment and then fade into memory, lost in distraction or the more urgent needs of life … but every once in a while I get spurts of writing done.

Tick-tock tick-tock, feeling out of time
Watching the clock, like it might rewind
Thoughts are time-locked, moving in a line
Through a minefield, thinkin’ ‘bout what’s mines

I been livin’ in the past, or I’m fearin’ for the future
Dwellin’ on the last things I said and how they hurt ya
Time is flyin’ fast and they say that means it’s fun
But I’m watchin’ and the hourglass is draining, almost done
Every grain a memory of a place I’ve been before
A little pain when I see important options unexplored
I don’t aim to play “What if?” — waste of time I can’t afford
Need to keep up with “What is” ‘cause with time there’s never more

Shut the door, I don’t mean to be ravin’
Out my mind – All these questions I’m raisin’
Out of time – got these goals but I’m lazy
Shut my eyes – should be set on obtainin’ 
Everything that I said I’d be aiming at
Alarm rings, stay in bed, I be snoozin’ that
New day brings grace instead of what I should get
But I cling to the blanket of my regret

Cold inside, I’m uncomfortable in my head
Try to hide all the dreams that I left for dead
Brush aside all the wreckage from words I said
Full of lies, not only empty promises
Compromise, lookin’ back on the things I did
Idolize all the ones getting after it
Never tried, not enough to create a hit
I despise what I do, and I can’t forget

When I look at the past, I feel out of sequence
When I measure my present, I’m so delinquent
Will I finish the plans and ideas I’m thinkin?
Look at the future for me, there’s no freak win
See, I fail to develop in me any discipline
Good things I do once, I will rarely do again
And that’s a road that only leads to a dead end
But that’s the situation that I have placed myself in

Caught between my regret and what hasn’t happened yet
Between the person that I was and who I’m afraid I’ll be
Worry ‘bout the fantasy, I forget the real me
Lookin’ backwards as I’m walkin’ — How am I supposed to see?
Thinkin’ forwards when I’m dreamin’ all the possibilities
But it’s much more like a nightmare when it finally clicks for me
That the clock is ever tickin’ and the rate is only quickened
And I’m missin’ all the seconds — slip into eternity
And I’m stuck beneath the burden of the knowledge in this wording
Like a lock around the hurtin’ and I lost the only key

Tick-tock tick-tock, feeling out of time
Unwind the clock, gears all start to grind
Thoughts so fleeting, dreams all in decline
Like the twilight swallowing sunshine

Too Young For This

“You are one of the old guys!”

I know it’s rare that we catch our aging in progress; it’s difficult for us to notice the process taking place. There’s often a moment of sudden, painful clarity. 

The above quote was one of my moments. 

“You should talk to one of the old guys,” I believe is what I said just before the fatal blow to my youthful pride. In the middle of a conversation with military coworkers, I thought of myself as roughly their peer, in age and experience. One young woman informed me ever so gently that this was not the case.

I joined the Air Force early, at age 17, which required a parent’s signature to approve. So I have often been the young one in any group. Once that changed, the reactions shifted to “whoa, I didn’t realize you’ve been in the service that long.” Even those eventually ceased.

I’ve already done my 20 years. Two days from now, I will finish my 22nd year of active duty. My hair is going gray (so my daughter likes to remind me), I sometimes limp, and I serve on a no-running profile, so age has taken its toll. 

Speaking of the daughter, one of the surprised reactions I get is at the fact that I have two teenaged children. Maybe most folks have better sense than to start so young, or maybe there’s still a touch of “I didn’t know you were that old” left. 

But today after flying for twelve hours, I got my own surprise reaction when my daughter’s Facebook profile revealed she is engaged to her boyfriend of over a year.

Gah!

There is a ring in the middle, among the pearls.

Now this is nothing out of the blue–they’ve been talking and plotting for quite some time. But a distant concept that “someday soon after I turn eighteen I plan to marry him” is different than a public proclamation of “this is happening.”

I will turn 40 just before she turns 18, so it’s not like I can say I’m still young. I’m just not old enough for this quite yet.

After its reign of terror through Hollywood, the music industry, and the Cincinnati Zoo, 2016 struck one last, very personal blow.

Bring on the new year, this one sucks. 

…but maybe not too fast. There are only so many more moments left, like snowflakes falling on a warm winter day, melting and vanishing before they touch the ground.

New Challenges

Time flies when you’re having fun… or raising kids.

I recall looking down at a crying pink mass of baby as a brand new dad, unable to fully grasp all the changes about to take place, wondering how much I didn’t know, unsure of how I would become the father my daughter deserved.

It's a natural reflex... but it still hits right in the feels.
It’s a natural reflex… but it still hits right in the feels.

Then, in a hesitant and uncertain effort to help keep Deborah still while the nurses cleaned her up, I gingerly took hold of her hand. And she wrapped her tiny finger nubs around one of mine and held tight. And her cries started to quiet down.

That was over thirteen years ago. “Almost fourteen,” Deb would say.

She soon became a big sister to our first son, Jonathan. When we discussed baby names for boys, I thought of David and Jonathan in the Bible – the friendship and closeness they shared. While I know that a parent is not always able to be their child’s friend instead of disciplinarian, I still focused on the hope that my son and I will enjoy a healthy relationship as he grows into maturity.

A few years after Jonathan, Justin was born, his name meaning “Righteous” and “Justice.” And two years ago, we welcomed Judah into our family, whose name means “Praise.”

Life easily becomes a blur of day-by-day responsibilities. Exhaustion sets in, and by the end of a busy day, it’s too easy to get caught up getting the kids to bed and catching a breather before going to sleep to face the next day. Individual days often go by slowly, working at the office or in the home, taking care of dinner and the children’s needs, trying to carve out family time, finishing all the chores and responsibilities, and ushering kids to bed.

But the years flash by when we’re not paying attention.

About a week ago, Deborah was playing Rock Band 3 and some of the various Guitar Hero games. And I discovered she had switched over to Hard difficulty. The jump from Medium to Hard is significant as it incorporates more buttons to press, more notes to hit, and all at a faster pace. Yet she was performing songs smoothly, something of which she never used to be capable.

We played some songs together, challenging each other to see who could get the best performance. She kept up and beat me several times. Then we switched to Street Fighter, and once again I was surprised to find that she put up a fight. In fact, unless I was playing one of the two characters I’m best with, I was really working hard to win.

The bear is one of my favorites if I'm just messing around... because, come on. A BEAR.
The bear is one of my favorites if I’m just messing around… because, come on. A BEAR.

If you’re not familiar with the old-school Street Fighter games at the arcade, whenever a second player puts in a quarter and starts a game against the current player, a message pops up with a shout saying, “Here comes a new challenger!”

That’s what I was hearing in my head as Deborah defeated me a few times.

I can’t wait to get out of my cast and take her on in basketball, which has rapidly become her other favorite game.

Jonathan is no slouch, either. But his strengths are more mechanical. He loves building things, whether with Legos or with various electronics he takes apart (with supervision). Yes, he loves destruction too. He regularly surprises us with new constructs, and briefs us on the multiple special features and components he builds in to each one.

His favorite video game is Plants Vs. Zombies, but he still has that problem-solving mechanical eye when he watches me play. I was working my way through the new Tomb Raider, and at several points where I would be stuck considering how exactly to solve a puzzle, he walked in, looked it over, and pointed out the solution as if it was the most natural and obvious answer. Humbling, for sure.

Justin’s biggest strength seems to be living up to his name, as the family “Fairness Police.” Maybe it’s middle-child-syndrome rearing its ugly head, but Justin definitely protests any imbalance in chores or in rewards. He balances that with giving the most hugs ever (like constantly), so I guess it all works out.

Even Justin has some mad skills with his favorite games. We recently loaded Sonic Dash onto the iPad, and Justin started playing it with glee. It took me several days to get to the point where I could even match his high score, and honestly, that’s probably because I used the coins you earn in-game to upgrade scoring abilities. Justin hasn’t played in a bit; I’m afraid to see what he’ll do with the new powers in game.

Judah is still pretty young, so I’m not sure what skills he’s going to demonstrate. He sure loves to dance and sing to music – fitting based on his name and based on his parents’ musical abilities. He absolutely loves to sit at the piano with me and play (read: pound) notes… but that’s probably true of any two-year-old.

I don’t yet know what to expect from him. However bittersweet it may be, I know that the years will go by in a flash, and in no time, he’ll be showing us where his strengths lie. I want to say I can’t wait to see it, but “almost fourteen” years have flown by already.

I can wait and take it slow, one challenge at a time.