Tag Archives: future

Out of Time

Here’s another poem meant as a spoken word piece.
I know it’s been a while since the last post – one of many factors that inspired this poem. I’ve had a number of blog post ideas that sound great for a moment and then fade into memory, lost in distraction or the more urgent needs of life … but every once in a while I get spurts of writing done.

Tick-tock tick-tock, feeling out of time
Watching the clock, like it might rewind
Thoughts are time-locked, moving in a line
Through a minefield, thinkin’ ‘bout what’s mines

I been livin’ in the past, or I’m fearin’ for the future
Dwellin’ on the last things I said and how they hurt ya
Time is flyin’ fast and they say that means it’s fun
But I’m watchin’ and the hourglass is draining, almost done
Every grain a memory of a place I’ve been before
A little pain when I see important options unexplored
I don’t aim to play “What if?” — waste of time I can’t afford
Need to keep up with “What is” ‘cause with time there’s never more

Shut the door, I don’t mean to be ravin’
Out my mind – All these questions I’m raisin’
Out of time – got these goals but I’m lazy
Shut my eyes – should be set on obtainin’ 
Everything that I said I’d be aiming at
Alarm rings, stay in bed, I be snoozin’ that
New day brings grace instead of what I should get
But I cling to the blanket of my regret

Cold inside, I’m uncomfortable in my head
Try to hide all the dreams that I left for dead
Brush aside all the wreckage from words I said
Full of lies, not only empty promises
Compromise, lookin’ back on the things I did
Idolize all the ones getting after it
Never tried, not enough to create a hit
I despise what I do, and I can’t forget

When I look at the past, I feel out of sequence
When I measure my present, I’m so delinquent
Will I finish the plans and ideas I’m thinkin?
Look at the future for me, there’s no freak win
See, I fail to develop in me any discipline
Good things I do once, I will rarely do again
And that’s a road that only leads to a dead end
But that’s the situation that I have placed myself in

Caught between my regret and what hasn’t happened yet
Between the person that I was and who I’m afraid I’ll be
Worry ‘bout the fantasy, I forget the real me
Lookin’ backwards as I’m walkin’ — How am I supposed to see?
Thinkin’ forwards when I’m dreamin’ all the possibilities
But it’s much more like a nightmare when it finally clicks for me
That the clock is ever tickin’ and the rate is only quickened
And I’m missin’ all the seconds — slip into eternity
And I’m stuck beneath the burden of the knowledge in this wording
Like a lock around the hurtin’ and I lost the only key

Tick-tock tick-tock, feeling out of time
Unwind the clock, gears all start to grind
Thoughts so fleeting, dreams all in decline
Like the twilight swallowing sunshine

Grass on Venus

North Korea launched a long-range missile past the island of Okinawa today, ostensibly to launch a satellite, and quite probably as part of their ongoing efforts to develop a better ballistic missile program in conjunction with weapons of mass destruction.

My thoughts on this are a little rambly… to include the question of whether ‘rambly’ is a word.

I stood at the park with my 5 year old around noon, watching picture perfect clouds stacked in different layers coasting across the blue sky. He climbed on all the playthings at the park, and then I gave him a ride home on my back, listening to him laugh with delight.

 

The Dude on a recent trip to the park
 
I recently played a bunch of Fallout 4, exploring a ravaged Boston battered by radiation storms and post-apocalyptic cruelty. Coupled with today’s news, when I looked at those clouds it struck me that it would not take a whole lot to bring the beauty around us crashing down. Some combination of insane or fearless world leaders, political brinksmanship, and powerful weapons–that could do the trick. 

My idealism wants to rail and shout. What sort of madmen would threaten something so pure and peaceful as a 5 year old climbing and playing with abandon on a bright sunny day?

My cynicism knows the horrors wrought by human nature, and my pragmatism understands that I and my family aren’t immune to or protected from events that can shake the world.

For a few minutes, while the Internet connection held, I played a video game for a while. Destiny is a sci-fi, first-person shooter with open areas on several planets in our solar system. My character stood on Venus, killing evil robots and aliens. My 10 year old son recognized the level and watched for a moment, then asked, “Wait a minute! Why is there grass on Venus? It’s super hot. That isn’t right!” 

And that led to a conversation about the far-future, sci-fi dream / hope of terraforming other worlds to make them habitable for humankind. I laughed at the idea, but remembered a recent article suggesting the sort of “colony” we actually could put on Venus (in theory) in the distant future: a suspended cloud city that would rest not too high in the upper atmosphere as to freeze and not too low as to suffer the inhospitable heat.

But with all that comes the realization that this will almost assuredly never happen in our lifetimes. 

So we talked about what it means for humanity to reach for the stars. “Basically, one meteor strike, one nuclear war, one significant enough calamity, and everything ‘human’ ceases to exist. We have this one planet, where every single human has ever lived and, for the near future, will ever live. We don’t want all of that swept away in an instant. People want to spread that risk out a bit.”

Questions of faith arise in our home. Is that like the Tower of Babel? Is that an expression of human arrogance or pride, making more of ourselves than we ought, or not being content with what we have? And how do we reconcile that desire with what the Bible says about the end of the world? 

Oddly enough, my justifiable fear of what we know could likely happen to end the world aligns pretty well with the Bible’s promise of an end to this world–coupled with wars, famines, diseases, and calamities. And that raises challenging questions. 

But I also find great hope–both in what my faith has taught me to expect if/when I see those promises come to pass, and in what the best and noblest expressions of human capacity show us is possible when we put our minds and resources toward fantastic, even ‘impossible’ goals. We’re coming to understand so much about the universe around us. We live in a world surrounded by knowledge and technological miracles compared to just a few decades ago, and that trend is on track to continue for the foreseeable future.

Depending, of course, on the paths we choose.

May our faith in something greater than ourselves and our hope for a better future guide us to always take the path that leads to a park at noon on a sunny day, and maybe even grass on Venus. 

Morning Snack #1

One type of recurring post I would like to include on this blog is reflections on Scripture… something short and sweet.

A little morning snack, if you will.

OM NOM NOM
They always said I was supposed to get the Word inside of me.

This was the subject of my meditation this morning, and I thought I’d share what came to mind:

Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude. (Colossians 2:6, 7 NASB)

I see three tenses here, and questions arise in my mind.

Looking back, I was taught the Gospel. As a result, I received Christ by grace through faith. When that happened, I was rooted in Him. Have I wavered from that teaching? Have I left my first love? Is my foundation still sure? Am I still committed to the relationship like I was at the beginning?

Looking at the here and now, am I still being built up in Him? Am I being ever more securely established in my faith, or am I letting distractions get in the way? Also, am I grateful for what God has given and what God is doing? Am I compelled to respond to Him in praise and worship?

Looking forward, am I following after Him? A good friend of mine often taught that our present closeness to Jesus doesn’t matter so much as the direction we’re walking. The most spiritual person could be moving away or getting left behind if he or she is not continuing after Christ. The most vile sinner might be doing well by drawing near, even though that may not be obvious to the rest of us. No matter where I am in relation to Jesus, whether intimately close or coldly distant, is the path I am walking on leading me toward Him or away from Him?

Also, credit where credit is due, you can find more about those Bible cakes here.