Apparently today is “National Ravioli Day,” if the Ruby Tuesday’s e-mail ad is to be believed.

I love me some cheese-filled pasta, whether it’s a special restaurant recipe or simple Chef Boyardee’s. So I’m down for celebrating what is clearly a holiday of great cultural import, second only to National Twerk at Work Day (April 1st, if memory serves).

It’s not too late for ravioli. Supper awaits. You too can celebrate this great American… um… dinner option? Side dish?

I’d love to find the persons responsible for setting all these “National Day of” whatever days. I mean, do they have a database to ensure no repeats, with all these new additions over the years? Who determines if something is a bit too close to another day’s coverage?

For example, would National Linguine Day conflict with Ravioli Day? Probably not. But National Fettuccine Day would have to be scrapped, and I’m pretty sure Spaghetti Day has them both beat.

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (yes, that’s a thing) might even claim it as a religious holiday.

Perhaps we could have a day to celebrate all the various national days we now have, hence the title of this post. We could promote it under the guise of encouraging diversity, which is never a bad thing.

Never ever. (One cannot be weak in their praise of this virtue, lest one become a pundit on Fox News and find oneself summarily dismissed by those that hold the correct opinions.)

Despite the inherent diversity, all these conflicting days can become confusing for the average consumer. Therefore I will begin a petition to demand a new addition to the Executive Branch, in order to ensure proper celebration selections and mitigation of National Day conflicts. It will be called the Department of Holidays.

Because if the US Government has proven anything of late, it’s that they definitely deserve a giant “DOH!”